hope

hope.
sat all alone in a room and just, well hoped.

and
slowly
the words came.
they were not all elequent. but they were words.
and with them came Patience. and with that came Faith.
both of which-all three of which-if it was here... they would no longer be. 
and they sat.
and they learned to wait.
and to prepare.
and to remember.

and they were better for it.

The Greatest Fall Since Adam's

I had chosen the spot on the floor next to the door so that when I had to get up and leave I could do it quietly. See, 1 hour into prayer group I needed to be all the way across campus in another meeting, so I figured that I would just sit here for 50 minutes and then in-between prayers, I would silently get out so as not to disrupt the mood.

I failed.

A prayer ended so it was a perfect moment to get up, as to not make noise during someone's prayer. However as I started getting up, the guy next to me started to pray, "Lord, my heart is so broken for the people-" and that's all that anyone heard.

As I began to stand up I very quickly realized that my right leg had fallen dead asleep and was completely numb and useless. I had been sitting against a door that was really loose in the frame so any movement would create a large banging noise as the door wiggled around. So here I am banging on the door behind me because I need it to lean against because it's either that or fall over into the sitting people because my leg won't do anything that I tell it to. I have to get out of there! So I shoot up as fast as I can and my shorts get caught by the doorknob and it starts pulling down my pants. Great, now I'm going to be de-pantsed in the middle of prayer group and then fall down on my face with no shorts on. I grab my shorts and pull them up as fast as I can, but since my concentration is shifted off of my balance, I start to fall. I use the momentum to jump over the laying down person in the doorway, using my arms to brace myself against the door, wall, desk and everything in my path-thus hitting and banging on everything as I go. I reach the hallway and fall flat on my face. I can't just lay here in front of an entire room of people! I pop up with my arms, take one jump with my good leg and then fall down flat again. I jump back up and balance on my leg and my slowly working leg. I whisper "sorry" and start my limp across campus. My leg didn't fully work for a good 5 minutes. I was later told the group didn't stop laughing for 15.

But it's pretty interesting, because even in the midst of intense brokenness, we can still have joy, because God is a God of brokenness and of joy.

Do Insanity People Know They Are Insane?

So we have been doing the Insanity workout for about 3 weeks now. To give you a hint about how rough this 38ish minute workout is....

-The nutrition book that comes with the DVDs tells you that it is smart to eat 5 meals a day because you are burning so many calories.

-5 minutes into the workout you are sweating like faucet.

-Even the amazingly in-shape people in the video are dog nasty tired and sweating like a faucet 5 minutes in to the workout.

-A friend came to watch us to the workout tonight and before it started he was making fun a little bit and saying about how he does his own workout and he doesn't need a video to tell him what to do. But after about 4 minutes he changed his mood. The rest of the video he was talking about how hard it looked, how much it must stink to do it, and how he was going to be there tomorrow doing it with us.

-By the end of the workout the floor beneath you is wet from sweat and it's hard to make fluid movements for a good 10 minutes.

Jesus is Powerful

I saw a girl almost die today. I was turning a corner onto a small street and a girl was laying on the road because she had just fallen off of her bike with her husband bending over her. I was in the car with my good friend, Curry, and we parked the car and ran out to her side.

In my whole life I will never forget her face.

I have never seen anyone is more intense and unspeakable pain as this girl was. Her entire body was convulsing and curling up and from her head to her toes, she was turning blue. Her eyes were rolling back in her head.

I will never forget her blue lips. I will never forget her eyes.

Before the ambulance came and I think she may have died. I am not sure if she just went unconscious, but to me it looked like she died, especially because when the ambulance came they put the shocking pads on her to revive her.

Curry and I prayed. Hard. We didn’t know what else to do. So we prayed. Prayed to bring her back. Prayed to have mercy on her. Just talked to Daddy. And He definitely answered. After a while she was breathing on her own and then soon she could even tell them what her name was.

I don’t know if she died during any of that, but I know that she almost did. There is no doubt in my mind about that.

The crazy thing is that literally two minutes before this happened, they past me on their bikes. I saw them. I remember seeing them. I thought thoughts about them. They were quickly pointed out in conversation as the people on bikes. And then they turned the corner and she almost died…. We see people every single day and they could very literally turn a corner and die a horrible, painful death two minutes after we saw them. That blows my mind. It scares me! It overwhelms me! How can this be? How can we let this be, that people are passing by us and we are not giving them more than a thought. More than a slight mention in our ‘busy’ days. God wants us to love them!! This overwhelms me too! How can I love everyone? How can I possibly reach everyone??

Another thing that God showed me tonight is His incredible timing. As Curry and I were leaving the Hastings parking lot, we saw a friend, Sean. We talked with Sean for about five minutes, and then left. If we would have left one minute earlier, we wouldn’t have been able to pray. We wouldn’t have been able to call others to pray. We wouldn’t have been able to comfort her husband. God had us there at the exact right time! Also the nurse that was passing by, she told us after that she and her husband were just going to get a movie from Hastings. She past just in time to give this girl CPR. God is incredible. There is not one ounce of doubt in my mind that God orchestrated the people that were there. Why didn’t He stop her from falling? I don’t know. But He did not let her fall alone.

And He will not let us fall alone either. Just as she dying on the ground, so are we! But THANK THE LORD that He did not just leave us there. He has revived us! And He did not stop at just reviving us! He has given us a name and a place as His children!!

Happy Valentine's Day!

The Lord's Mercy on Isreal

[14] “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. [15] And there I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. And there she shall answer as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt. [16] “And in that day, declares the LORD, you will call me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer will you call me ‘My Baal.’ [17] For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be remembered by name no more. [18] And I will make for them a covenant on that day with the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the creeping things of the ground. And I will abolish the bow, the sword, and war from the land, and I will make you lie down in safety. [19] And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. [20] I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD. [21] “And in that day I will answer, declares the LORD, I will answer the heavens, and they shall answer the earth, [22] and the earth shall answer the grain, the wine, and the oil, and they shall answer Jezreel, [23] and I will sow her for myself in the land. And I will have mercy on No Mercy, and I will say to Not My People, ‘You are my people’; and he shall say, ‘You are my God.’” (Hosea 2:14-23 ESV)

What is wrong with you?

This is a video that we made for the youth group that I help out with on Wednesday nights. It's awesome!

It intro-ed the idea that we are all weird! and that we live in a broken and sinful world.

Watch out, that rainbow might attack you

I know a couple of girls that are afraid of balloons. Really? Balloons? Yes.

For example it was Valentine's Day and girls were getting giant stuffed bears and chocolate and roses and junk like that delivered to them in their classrooms. Well in walks about ten huge balloons and immediately this girl shells up. She huddles into herself at her desk and starts to cry a little. For balloons!

And then there are the people that are afraid of clowns. Clowns were created to make people laugh! How weird is it that something that is supposed to make you laugh actually making you cry? It's like telling an elephant joke and then someone covering their ears and crying because it scared them that an elephant was in the fridge.

So this makes me think... if people can be afraid of balloons and clowns, what else can they be afraid of? Rainbows? Flowers?

I can literally imagine a 300 lb. tough guy waddling down and street and then in a high pitched voice- "AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! A 3 year old ballerina!!!!!!!!!" And then running off and weeping for fear of his life.

Sick.